Growing up I had a dream to join the Air Force. My parents were divorced when I was two years old. My father was in the Air Force and I was able to visit him while I was growing up in Alaska and Missouri, but of course Alaska was amazing I hope to go back one day. Well growing up I have always dreamed of joining the Air Force, when I started High School I was J.R.O.T.C. and I did everything I could do to climb up in the chain of command and I did every activity for the class. I even started the school's first ever all female drill team, and we won 2nd place in competition. One day in a morning math class, I asked the girl who sat behind me to check my blood sugar, her having Type 1 Diabetes, she said "Yes!". I explained to her that the autoimmune disease runs strongly in my family, my mother's father and my mother's sister both have type 1 diabetes. I was always thirsty, I could drink water until I felt like I was going to puke, but it would never quench my thirst. I was waking up many times at night to go to the bathroom. My father had even realized that after eating dinner, and if its dark out, that is my bedtime and I would pass out for the night. I was always so exhausted. My heaviest weight in high school was an embarrassing 165 pounds, but as the months dragged on I was quickly losing the weight, and losing 2 pounds a day by the time of my diagnosis, then weighing 123 pounds. On the morning of my diagnosis my fasting blood glucose read 553. My friend told me if it was her she would give an injection, but she told me to call my mom and go to the hospital. I did just that, come to find out I have type 1 diabetes at 18 years old. Just a week away from leaving for MEPS for military entrance processing, I called my recruiter and unfortunately I was at that moment disqualified. I was in DKA and admitted for about a week.
I am sure my diagnosis story was nothing short of amazing, or traumatic, but I did hate myself for having diabetes, because my one and only dream just barely slid through my fingers. I worked so hard to be someone, and then I was nobody. I was nobody with diabetes.
I quickly put back on the weight that was lost thanks to my best friend insulin. People quickly jumped to judge me because I was diabetic. They would say, you have diabetes because your fat, you have bad blood and you can't eat that. When I explain to people that I have type 1 diabetes and they actually know what type 1 diabetes is, they tell me that I don't have type 1 diabetes because I was diagnosed at 18, and only children get diagnosed with type 1. These things that are said to me all heavily weigh down on my heart. I was beginning to break down. Upon graduating high school, I married my childhood best friend, and after three long years, his three month affair, and my willingness to leave him. I am back home in Florida with my family, I have an amazing supportive boyfriend, and I have come to accept that I have diabetes.
I am now 22 years old, stronger, and more independent then ever. I am a full time student who also works full time. I have a lot to say about diabetes, and to other people with diabetes. I now have a new Endocrinologist and he explained to me that I am not Diabetic, but I am a person with diabetes. This statement hit home with me, I am not a diabetic, I am simply me, and I have diabetes. Diabetes does not run my life. I run my life, and I am going to take control of my diabetes monster. You are not diabetic either, you are just you, and diabetes is a part of you. DO not label yourself as diabetic, because you are more than that.
P.S. This is my first blog. Please comment with your feelings and experiences! I would love to read and get to know others with type 1 diabetes! Thanks for your support!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment